


Being Your Baby Is Worth It

by Books in the Blood (WholockHobbit88)



Series: Baby Steven and Daddy Andrew [1]
Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Adult baby, Age Regression, Baby!Steven, Cuddling, Diapers, Feeding, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, caregiver!Andrew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WholockHobbit88/pseuds/Books%20in%20the%20Blood
Summary: Steven has been in age regression for as long as he can remember but now he finds what he wants most is a caregiver. When Andrew accidently walks in on Steven regressing, Steven has his chance to see what having a caregiver is really like.
Relationships: Andrew Ilnyckyj & Steven Lim
Series: Baby Steven and Daddy Andrew [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903855
Comments: 21
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Steven shut his laptop screen, oddly aware of the silence in his apartment. He didn't feel right; he couldn't focus on anything. His mind has been going in a million different directions and none of them landing in the right spot. The silence was defeating except for the occasional bang of door through the walls from his neighbors or the distant ticking of the clock in the kitchen.

He was lonely...he could feel it like a dark cloud inside his heart, zapping his energy and dragging him down. He glanced at his phone sitting on the arm of his couch; he could call someone. It was pretty late but he could call someone. But even as the idea came to him it floated out of his head. This feeling wasn't just a lonely feeling.

Steven was also feeling little...and that wasn't a feeling he could share with anyone yet. It'd been awhile since Steven had felt this small; he definitely needed some little time.

Steven had felt small for as long as he could remember. Even as a child he could remember being drawn to baby stuff. There was just something about the idea of being helpless and cared for unconditionally that warned his heart in a way nothing else did. With a pacifier in his mouth or cuddling a blankie he imagine he was being held, could feel safe and small. It had always been somewhat of a source of embarrassment; especially as he'd gotten older. What adult wanted to drink out of a bottle? What adult wanted to wear a diaper? What adult wanted someone to hold them in their lap? Well, Steven found out the answer was actually quite a lot of people actually. He'd been on the internet; he knew other people liked that stuff too. But it really FELT like he was the only one because he'd only been alone in it. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing he could share with someone. He'd thought about telling a few close friends before but always thought against it. If they rejected him he didn't think he could bear it. He didn't want anyone to think he was a freak.

It had been so much easier when he was younger. He'd been perfectly content sneaking to suck a pacifier at night or wearing a diaper under his clothes just for kicks. But what had drawn him to feeling small was now what made him start to pull away from it. He wanted more. He did feel perfectly little watching cartoons or drinking from a bottle or cuddling a stuffed animal; he just wished he had someone to share it with. Increasingly he was longing to be held in someone's lap, to have someone to do things for him, to tell him he was good boy...now sometimes when he was little he was beginning to have the peculiar feeling of being a small child waiting on a parent to come back for him, as if he had been left behind on accident. He wanted someone to see this side of him; he wanted to be his genuine self and be accepted and loved. It was getting harder and harder to feel truly little without a caregiver or a little friend.

Steven shook his head and got up from the couch; dwelling on loneliness wouldn't help him. Tonight he'd focus on being little.

Steven walked to his room, shutting the door carefully behind him before walking over to the closet; the habit of being sneaky was hard to break. Even though he lived alone now it still kind of felt like he was sneaking.

He walked over to his closet and dug into the back of it for the items he hid behind everything else. Under old clothes that didn't fit anymore and spare backpacks he found his favorite onesie, baby bottle and diapers. Pulling them out, he could already feel himself begin to relax already. He couldn't quite explain the feeling but after a long time of being a responsible, mature adult who worked a job, paid bills, had a very type A personality that required everything had to be done exactly perfect sometimes he just needed a BREAK…sometimes he just needed to feel like a baby that had to do nothing but eat and cuddle and play and had no responsibilities. And as he began to take off his grown up clothes so he could put on his babyish ones, he could feel all that adult stuff begin to fade away and be replaced by a small, calming feeling.

Steven threw his clothes to the floor and began to spread out the diaper on his bed before lying down. Sometimes he desperately wanted to be like those people he'd seen on the internet who actually had caregivers who put diapers on them; how could you not feel small if someone was doing that! But then times like now when he was completely alone in his house putting a diaper on himself and he was still blushing furiously he couldn't imagine letting someone see him in this position. Being naked around someone would be vulnerable enough…..letting someone put a diaper on him? He really couldn't imagine, as he shook his head, feeling the blush heat his cheeks. He finished taping up the diaper and grabbed his baby animal covered onesie. He slipped it over his head and closed the snaps between his legs….the feeling of being small and needy increased.

Steven grabbed his bottle and made his way back to the kitchen. Filling his bottle up with soy milk, he screwed the lid on it and put it in the microwave; not enough to be hot, just enough to be pleasantly warm. He watched the bottle go round and round in the microwave, feeling very small. When the microwave dinged, he grabbed the bottle and hurried back to his bedroom. Turning off the lights, he turned on the television to the Baby TV channel and pulled back his covers. Digging under his bed, he located his teddy bear and everything was complete. Steven nestled beneath the covers, snuggling deep down, wiggling and fidgeting until he had found just the right warm spot. He propped his bottle on his pillow so he could suck on without having to hold it which left his arms open for his teddy bear. Snuggling the bear close to his chest, Steven leaned over and began to suck on the bottle. It was warm and comforting and that was when he REALLY began to feel small. He felt as if there was nothing else he had to do and his head began to feel sleepy and fuzzy. With his bottle propped on the pillow, he could close his eyes and almost imagine that someone was holding the bottle for him. He could almost imagine in his small state that his head was nestled against a warm chest, his ear against a strong beating heart, arms around him holding him tight and securely. As colors and shapes flashed easily on the television, with lullaby music twirling in his ears, Steven let himself fall deeper and deeper into littleness. It wasn't the same as actually having someone there but it was as close as he was going to get. So Steven closed his eyes, let the warm milk slide across his tongue and imagined being held, being cuddled and being loved.

Steven only realized that he must have fallen asleep when he felt the hazy sensation of being shook awake.

"Steven…..wake up…"

Steven was still half asleep. He could vaguely feel someone shaking his shoulder, distantly hear someone calling his name but he was still fighting to wake up. For a moment he had that slight panicked that he had overslept and was late for school; then he remembered he was an adult and also that he lived alone.

Steven rubbed his eyes as he fully came awake. Lying on his back he opened his eyes and found himself staring at Andrew who was hovering over him awkwardly and trying to wake him up and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Ah! Andrew! What are you doing here?" Steven asked in a sleepy confused state.

Andrew looked awkward, bouncing on the soles of his feet. "We're shooting that super bowl home cooking episode today" Andrew reminded him. "I knocked on your door a lot. I tried calling you too before I used the key you gave me"

It was slowly coming back to Steven as the sleepy fuzz cleared from his brain. They were shooting an episode on the most popular super bowl recipes to make at home; he couldn't believe he'd forgotten it. He'd also forgotten that he'd given Andrew a key to his apartment awhile back when he'd house sat for him and then just told him to keep it. Andrew had never used it since.

That's when Steven noticed the cartoons dancing behind Andrew's head on the TV and felt his chest clench as he remembered his current predicament. He pulled the covers up to his chin but he could tell by the awkwardness on Andrew's face that he'd seen it; he'd seen everything. The onesie, the teddy bear, the empty bottle in the bed...Steven's cheeks flushed hotly all the way to his ears. He was so embarrassed...he felt as if he'd just been caught naked. Actually, this was worse than being naked. Human anatomy was a lot less shocking than seeing a grown man in a onesie and diaper. Steven could feel heat radiating off his skin.

"I'll uh...go get set up while you...get...dressed" Andrew said awkwardly. He quickly left the room for Steven to stew in his shame.

"That didn't just happen...that did not just happen...it couldn't have" Steven tried to tell himself in a panic, his heart racing and his palms sweating. But his words didn't change anything; it HAD happened.

Steven sat in bed frozen with fear for several minutes, head in hands before he made himself get up. Andrew had seen everything; now he knew Steven's secret. Would Andrew think he was weird, a freak, maybe even a pervert? Steven cringed; he had no idea because Andrew didn't say anything or give Steven any indication how he felt. And now he was supposed to go out there and shoot an episode all day like nothing happened. Steven mentally kicked himself; how could he have forgotten they were working today? He was normally so on point...he recalled his regression last night; he'd gotten too carried away in fantasizing about being small. He'd let himself go and look where that had gotten him.

Steven's cheeks were still burning with shame as he got out of bed and began to take the onesie and diaper off. He shoved them and his teddy bear and bottle deep into his closet and located proper clothes to put on. He put more energy than usual into picking his clothes. It was ridiculous...he couldn't erase the babyish image from Andrew's mind with a well put together 'adult' outfit. But that didn't stop his subconscious from trying.

Today was going to be LONG day…..


	2. Chapter 2

Well dressed, hair brushed but feeling totally frazzled, Steven left his room and walked to the kitchen where Andrew, Annie and Adam were setting up. His heart instantly seized with fear when he discovered them all laughing. Instantly, his mind jumped to the insanity 'they know! Andrew told them everything!' Before he could reign himself in. Andrew wasn't like that; he kept secrets, he didn't blab then. He was a good friend even if he thought Steven was a freak; he still wouldn't tell.

His fears disappeared when everyone stopped laughing and greeted him. Adam and Annie weren't looking at him any differently so they didn't know; Annie even complemented his outfit. He was glad he looked like an adult because right now he felt very much like an insecure boy.

Adam pushed a box of donuts toward him for breakfast but his stomach rolled. Andrew handed him a coffee cup. "It's a matcha latte, your favorite" he said brightly. What was with Andrew? He was smiling at Steven like nothing ever happened.

Was he trying to play it off? Put Steven at ease? Waiting until they were alone to ply him with questions? Steven cringed and forced himself to take a drink of his latte. He was so out of sorts it didn't even taste right.

Steven did his best to push his personal problems out of his mind and focus on his work. Andrew continued to act as if everything was totally normal, making jokes and feeding Steven bits of their food like he normally would be. He didn't seem uncomfortable or weirded out but perhaps he was just that good at pretending.

After all the equipment was put away and all the dishes cleaned, Andrew was the last one to leave. He was telling Steven his plans for the weekend like it was all normal, getting ready to leave when Steven couldn't take it anymore; he HAD to get it out in the open. Maybe Andrew didn't care; maybe he didn't think Steven was weird. Maybe he was so unfazed that he didn't feel the need to say anything. But Steven had to know for sure for his own peace of mind. Otherwise, he'd go insane.

"Andrew...don't you think we should talk about what happened this morning?" Steven asked. His legs were shaky with nerves and his palms suddenly sweaty. Well, it was out there now, no taking it back.

Andrew paused almost halfway to the door. "We can...if you want to" he said, shrugging. As if it was no big deal! Steven didn't know if he should be thankful or if he should scream.

"Um….okay...well..." Steven stuttered, wiping sweat off his brow. His heart was racing even though Andrew was watching him as cool as a cucumber. "I didn't mean for you...or anyone...to see me like that. I know it's weird...but I promise I'm not a freak or anything I just don't want you to-"

Steven was beginning to rant but Andrew held up a hand to stop him from spiraling out of control. "It's okay Steven; I don't think you're a freak. I get it...you're into age regression. It's fine."

Steven paused, taking that bit in. Not only did Andrew not think he was weird, he knew what regression was? Steven's heart was beating fast but now it wasn't from fear. It was from excitement; could Andrew be into it too and that's why he seemed so chill with it? Steven didn't want to get his hopes up but his mind was already running with the possibilities.

"You're not surprised" Steven said after a moment's pause.

"Well I mean I WAS surprised to accidentally find you like that" Andrew admitted. "But it doesn't shock me. I know what it is. And I can't exactly say I'm surprised you're into it."

Steven wanted to ask what that was supposed to mean but he knew it was obvious he could be a bit childish. Steven dared to ask the question he really wanted to know. "Are you an age regressor too?" He asked it in a hushed voice, feeling like he was standing on the edge of a cliff.

Andrew was hesitant to pop Steven's bubble. "Well, no" he admitted and Steven felt something in him crush. It would have been so nice if Andrew was a little too. Steven could imagine them playing together or chilling watching cartoons, sharing things. Before Steven could fully grasp his disappointment, Andrew went on.

"I had a girlfriend once who was really into it" Andrew admitted. "She was all for it; pacifiers, bottles, diapers, playing with toys...calling me daddy..." Andrew coughed rather loudly after that last bit, as if it clearing his throat and then looked down at the floor.

Steven was having a mental meltdown; whatever he had been expecting to hear it was not THAT at all. His first impulse was to be jealous of this girl he didn't even know because she not only had a caregiver but had Andrew as a caregiver. His second impulse was to try to wrap his mind around the idea of Andrew being called daddy. Because right now the idea was making Steven feel rather hot and blushy and shy.

And then he noticed that it actually looked like Andrew was blushing! Andrew- had- no- shame- Ilnyckj was red from his cheeks to his ears like Steven had never seen. And he wasn't looking at Steven anymore, almost as if he wished he hadn't brought it up...or most likely was wishing he hadn't added the daddy part. Steven on the other hand was very glad he HAD brought it up.

"How did you feel about it?" Steven asked quietly after Andrew stared silently at the ground for a while.

Andrew shrugged but he still looked slightly red. "I thought it was weird at first but once I got used to it...it was kind of nice to be needed like that"

Steven wanted to say 'I could need you like that' but forced himself to be quiet; just because he'd acted as a caregiver to his girlfriend didn't mean he'd suddenly jump at the opportunity to do it for Steven. Steven shouldn't even expect him to; that was probably considered weird. What was also probably considered weird was Steven imagining calling Andrew daddy and now his face is was full on radiating heat; thank God people couldn't read minds.

Andrew was visibly uncomfortable, clearing his throat and blushing, looking away from Steven. This was not the kinds of things they discussed. "Well, I better get going" Andrew said, throwing his bag over his shoulder and making for the door before Steven could make him even more uncomfortable. He was almost there when Steven said, "Your girlfriend was lucky...to have that with you" he simply couldn't help it. He wanted Andrew to know how much that meant to someone like him. Andrew gave him a wide smile and a nod before disappearing out the door. Steven wanted him to stay but wouldn't have known what to say if he did.

Steven tried to occupy himself the rest of the evening but the silence in his apartment was overwhelming; he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to thoughts of Andrew. Andrew feeding him...Andrew holding him...calling Andrew daddy...even in the alone of his apartment he could feel his cheeks flush hotly. He should NOT have been entertaining such thoughts. Steven turned his favorite music on to distract himself and went to take a long shower.

Steven had almost driven thoughts of Andrew out of his mind when he emerged from the shower. He was still drying his hair with a towel as he plopped down on the couch. He noticed a missed text and quickly picked up his phone.

-When you said my girlfriend was lucky to have that with me, is that because that's something that you'd like? –Andrew

It was the last thing that Steven was expecting; Andrew seemed so off put by their earlier conversation he was not expecting him to bring it up willingly again. Then again, it was kind of like Andrew to wait until he was gone and had stewed a bit and send Steven a text rather than to have to say what he was feeling.

-Well, yeah…..anyone who is little wants to have a caregiver-Steven

Steven watched the little text bubbles move across the screen with batted breath; Andrew was clearly watching his phone like Steven was.

-Would you like to try it with me?-Andrew

Steven's mind felt like it was short circuiting; he began to sweat again his heart racing. Was this real? Was Andrew really asking if Steven wanted him to be his caregiver? And what exactly did that mean? How far was it going to go? Steven forced himself to sit back on the couch and take several deep breaths, gathering his thoughts. Maybe it was a good thing that they weren't having this conversation in person.

Andrew must have been on the other end freaking out waiting for him; when Steven didn't answer in a few minutes, Andrew sent another text.

-I don't mean it in a weird way or anything –Andrew

Steven had to laugh; he sat up and grabbed his phone, deciding it was best to be honest.

-Sorry, I was just trying to gather my excitement over here. Of course I'll try it with you!-Steven

Andrew replied almost immediately, no doubt relieved.

-lol, okay, good…..I thought I had made you uncomfortable or something-Andrew

-Not uncomfortable…..very excited : ) –Steven

Steven waited a long minute before Andrew responded

-How come you never told me you were into this stuff?-Andrew

Even though it was hard to read intent in texts Steven could sense Andrew might be disappointed Steven didn't confide something so personal with him. It wasn't hard to understand Steven's reasoning though; it was not the kind of thing you could share with just anyone. And Andrew was kind of an enigma; he was hard to read sometimes and good at avoiding personal conversations. But Andrew was one of the few people he had considered telling at one point before ultimately deciding he didn't want to risk his friendship.

-I thought about telling you. I wanted to but I was worried you'd think I was a freak-Steven

-I guess that's fair…I'm glad I found out on accident though-Andrew

Steven couldn't help but feel like he was grinning like an idiot; he was glad Andrew had found out too. As worried as he had initially been this morning, thinking that everything was going to be so weird and ruined now, it was hard to believe how things had turned out.

-Me too-Steven

Sometime had passed and even though Steven was so wired he didn't think he could sleep, it was late and he went to brush his teeth and get into bed. As he was pulling back the covers, his phone alerted him to a text message and he looked at the glowing screen in the dark.

-Promise last time I'll bother you tonight. Did you have something specific in mind you'd like to try first?-Andrew

Steven looked the screen for a long time thinking. His chest started thumping as his mind whirled at the possibilities. He couldn't help but grin, knowing that though it was late and they both should have been asleep, Andrew was still obviously awake. Awake and thinking about being his caregiver. Warmth spread through his chest; he suddenly wished that Andrew was really here and he could wrap his arms around him.

He threw out the first few fantasies he had about being little; being diapered, being bathed…Way too intimate to start off with and Steven's cheeks burned with embarrassment just thinking about it. Then he remembered his little time last night and how he'd closed his eyes and imagined someone was feeding him his bottle and that he was nestled close against someone's chest as they fed him. Now he let his mind run away with him, imagining Andrew was the one holding the bottle for him and that he was held close to Andrew's chest, warm and safe, the sound of Andrew's heartbeat against his ear. Just thinking that made Steven feel smaller all of a sudden. To his horror it also made him feel a lump of emotion in his throat. He trusted Andrew; Andrew was his friend. He'd never let him down, never hurt him in anyway. And there was no doubt in Steven's mind that he could trust him with this most innocent and vulnerable part of himself. Andrew could have let the incident earlier fade away and never brought it up again but he didn't; he wanted to do this with Steven.

Steven's fingers were a bit shaky with excitement as he typed out the text.

-I think I'd like for you to feed me a bottle-Steven

If you could have told Steven he would be typing those words to Andrew…..ever…..he would have said you were crazy. He watched the text bubbles dance across the screen.

-I'd like that too. I already know I like feeding you : )- Andrew

Well, that was something he'd never considered…he was sure that neither him or Andrew had ever taken deeper meaning in their feeding bits they did on the show. But maybe deep down some part of them had. Maybe deep down some part of Andrew had wanted to take care of Steven. And perhaps deep down some part of Steven had let him.

Steven lay down in bed knowing that he'd lay there for a long time but that was okay. He knew that across town Andrew was probably thinking of him the way Steven was thinking of him and it sent a jolt of excitement through him. When he finally did manage to go to sleep it was with warm pleasant thought of being wrapped up tight and warm and safe, feeling small but knowing that nothing bad could possibly happen to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Steven didn't think a week had ever felt like it had taken so long. After his and Andrew's conversation about baby stuff, life had carried on like normal mostly. They were busy throughout the week and even though Steven was quite sure that at times at work Andrew was looking at him differently, he never brought up that conversation and Steven was too shy to bring it up. So their conversations had remained on the same normal topics and Steven was beginning to feel a worry in the back of his mind that the whole thing was going to come to nothing.

That was until Friday when Steven was gathering up his stuff at his desk to get ready to get home. He had thrown his coat on and was half way to the door when he stuffed his hands in his pockets and found something there that he had not been expecting.

It was a pacifier…..and Steven was absolutely sure that it was not one of his. It was one he had never seen before with rainbow stars and glitter on it; it was way cuter than any of the ones he already had. Tied to it with a piece of ribbon was a note in Andrew's handwriting.

-For my baby to use when I come over Saturday-

Steven almost couldn't breathe; he wanted to keep staring at it but shoved it in his pocket for fear someone would see it. His heart was racing and he could feel excitement flooding through his blood like a drug. His hands were getting shaky and so was his breath; he hadn't felt this excited in a long time. It was like everything seemed suddenly very bright and alive and he felt like very good things were about to happen.

As the words on the note sunk into Steven's brain he was suddenly very aware that this whole thing meant more to Andrew than Steven realized. Of course Andrew had said that he enjoyed it; he was even the one to suggest that they try it out. But even so Steven thought his interest in being babied was way stronger than Andrew's interest in babying him. Now he was beginning to think maybe not. He imagined Andrew standing in an aisle of baby items in the store, looking through pacifiers, thinking about Steven. Steven felt a warm flush of excitement run through him; the idea was just too cute to handle. And then there was the words 'my baby'…..it was low key possessive and made Steven a bit dizzy with giddiness. Not only was he 'a baby' but Andrew had already claimed him as 'his baby'.

Steven was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed that Andrew had walked up to him.

"So…..I'll see you on Saturday?" Andrew asked. He was very CLOSE and Steven was aware of how hot and red his face was; he was also aware he couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah…..I'll see you on Saturday" Steven said shyly. He was relieved to see Andrew grin, looking a bit embarrassed and shy himself.

Andrew looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to them. "Did you like it?" he whispered, glancing toward Steven's pocket.

As if there was any way on earth he would have NOT liked it! "I love it" Steven whispered, looking into Andrew's eyes even though he was shy.

Andrew smiled wide, obviously pleased. "Don't use it until I come over. I want to see you use it the first time" he said. That simple, gentle command made Steven feel like his head was plunging into little space right there in the office. If Andrew hadn't said that, Steven would have probably used it the second he got home; now that Andrew had told him not to use it, he didn't even consider it. There was something oddly comforting about being told what to do.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Andrew said and he left before Steven could say anything, feeling dazed and in a babyish fog.

Friday night and Saturday morning seemed to drag on forever. Steven's new pacifier sat on his nightstand the entire time, a cute, sparkling reminder that in mere hours he would have a caregiver. In fact, he already had one; one who had bought him a pacifier.

Steven tried to keep himself occupied all morning as he waited on Andrew's visit that afternoon but it was no use; no matter what he did he couldn't stop imagining being curled up in Andrew's lap, finally feeling safe and warm and protected. Would Andrew put his arms around Steven and hold him tight? Would he rub his hair gently? Would he tell him things that the little side of him always wanted to hear, like he that he was cute and good and safe? Steven remained in a foggy state of half littleness all day; he noticed several times throughout the day that his thumb had found its way into his mouth, a feeble replacement for the pacifier he so wanted to use.

When there was finally a knock at the door, Steven nearly jumped out of his skin, his heart racing. He almost ran to the door and then forced himself to stop for a second and take a deep breath. His hands were still shaky as he reached for the doorknob.

When Steven saw Andrew standing there he almost felt nervous. Actually he was nervous and shy...painfully shy.

It had to be because he already felt so extremely LITTLE...because he shouldn't be shy around Andrew. He instantly felt like reaching out and hugging Andrew but didn't want to scare him away or smother him with littleness yet. Andrew was smiling at him looking so comfortable and normal...it was as if he wasn't nervous at all. He looked confident and strong, unwavering. And he looked perfect; nice jeans, button down shirt with a sweater over top. Prime dad look...Steven thought with a blush. Andrew was dressed like a dad and giving off unwavering secure dad vibes. He wanted to crawl into his lap and not let go. Steven felt like he might pass out; he was speechless.

"You going to let me in Steven?" Andrew asked with a slight laugh at Steven's open gawking. Before Steven could answer Andrew gave him a knowing kind of look. "Or maybe you're already feeling pretty small and need help"

Yes...yes he did. Steven felt his headspace dip further and found he could simply nod. Andrew took his hand gently and guided him back into the apartment and shut the door behind him. Andrew's hand felt warm in his own; he felt safer already.

"Why don't you go get dressed in something much more comfy and I'll be in soon with a nice drink" Andrew prodded Steven. Steven had never heard Andrew use quite that tone. Gentle, reassuring but with slight authority; exactly the way you'd talk to a child. Steven found it slightly hypnotizing.

"I want you to be nice and comfy. Plus, you wouldn't want to have to worry about accidents" Andrew said with a warm smile.

The implications made Steven blush furiously; it was a way for Andrew to tell him to dress not only as a baby but that it was okay to wear diapers around him. Almost as if Andrew knew Steven had already been feeling nervous and shy about wearing diapers even under his clothes around Andrew. He imagined Andrew seeing him in his babyish clothes, knowing he was wearing a diaper under it. Then Steven couldn't stop himself from imagining himself wetting himself around Andrew. Andrew probably wouldn't know but Steven would and now he was feeling very funny, very small but some part big. As if he just been potty trained and knew better than to wet his pants but did it anyway. He knew Andrew would be able to see how embarrassed he was.

"Hey Steven...you don't need to be embarrassed around me...it's me" Andrew said. He gave Steven's hand a gentle squeeze and he smiled reassuringly at him; and it was okay, he was right. He didn't need to be embarrassed around Andrew.

"Okay" Steven said quietly, smiling at Andrew before he shuffled off to his bedroom to get changed.

Steven closed the door behind him and went to the closet. He'd thought long and hard about what babyish outfit to let Andrew see him in first. He'd ultimately decided on his super soft, super warm baby blue footies. They were so comfy and though he usually didn't consider himself cute, he thought he looked the cutest in this outfit.

Steven felt extremely little now and it seemed like quite a big effort to take off his grown up clothes and put on his baby ones. He suddenly wished Andrew would have done it for him even though he might have died of embarrassment.

It was just that he felt super small as if his limbs had grown a bit useless, as if he had lost some of his adult motor skills. He sat there naked for a while, giggling as he lazily contemplated the diapers, figuring out how to lay it out and tape it around himself. Once the diaper was taped securely and warmly around him, he worked his feet into the fuzzy footies and then worked the zipper up. It was super soft against his skin and made him want to curl up and maybe take a nap. What he really wanted was to feel Andrew against him.

Once Steven had dressed, he got curious and had to find Andrew. Steven was warm and secure as he creeped down the hallway toward the kitchen, his fingers scrapping along the wall as his fleece covered feet moved. Steven peered into the kitchen and what he saw made him take a deep breath in and pause….

Andrew was standing next to the microwave and when it chimed he pulled out the bottle. Shaking the bottle slightly he let a few drops fall on to his wrist, checking the temperature and Steven couldn't help but smile; Andrew was a pro.

Before Andrew could see him Steven crept back down the hallway and into his room. Grabbing the blanket at the end of his bed, he dove under it, waiting for Andrew.

A few moments later Andrew knocked on the door. "Come in" Steven said, finding his voice quieter and shyer than he expected. Andrew pushed the door open and peeked in.

When he saw Steven hiding mostly under the blanket he started to grin. "You're not hiding are you?" He asked. He set the bottle on the nightstand and sat down the bed next to Steven.

"Come on...I want to see how cute you look" Andrew said and gently tugged on the blanket.

Any nerves Steven had about Andre seeing him disappeared instantly; he wanted Andrew to say he looked cute!

Steven dropped the blanket so Andrew could see him in his footies. He was not disappointed; Andrew's mouth fell open a bit as if surprised and he was grinning. "Steven, you look adorable!" He said, still staring at Steven. Steven felt his cheeks instantly warm and he couldn't stop smiling. Andrew thought he was cute! Actually not just cute but adorable!

"You really think so?" Steven asked, shyly; his thumb had made its way back to his mouth.

"Of course I do...you're an adorable baby. My adorable baby" Andrew said, his voice warm and gently. When he said "my" it was with emphasis; just like with the note it gently asserted domination and ownership and Steven felt warm and fuzzy inside at the thought. He was feeling extremely little and was only vaguely aware he was sucking his thumb harder. He wasn't normally much of a thumb sucker but then again Andrew was making him feel more authentically small in a way he'd not felt before.

"I like that...when you call me your baby" Steven whispered around his thumb

Andrew smiled at him, and then ruffled Steven's hair; Steven's heart slipped a beat at the feeling of Andrew's fingers moving through his pink locks. He loved his hair being touched; it had been very long time since someone had.

"I'm glad you let me have a chance to call you my baby" Andrew said

Andrew's hand was still petting his hair and it was nice. His thumb was still in his mouth and that was very nice too. Steven was beginning to lose control of himself sort of like being drunk on littleness.

"I want to call you daddy"

And there was perfect proof he was losing his self-control because he had definitely not meant to say that! It was as if he had been seized with the child like mentality of literally saying whatever he was thinking. He was embarrassed though not as embarrassed as he'd be if he wasn't feeling so little. After all this wasn't some bad diaper story; you couldn't just call someone daddy because you felt like it. Steven nibbled on his thumb; he had surely made things awkward.

Only it didn't seem like he did. Because Andrew was blushing, A LOT, but he was grinning too; he looked pleased.

"Um...I'd really like it if you did" Andrew said quietly, shyly.

Steven felt like he was floating; he was so happy he could barely restrain himself. "Okay...daddy "he said, feeling like his voice even had grown smaller.

And before he knew it Steven was throwing himself at Andrew. He couldn't help it; he'd suddenly felt a burst of affection rush through him and before he could control it he'd launched himself at Andrew, throwing his arms around Andrew's neck and squeezing him tightly. But Andrew didn't seem to mind; in fact he seemed to like it because he was guiding Steven closer to that he was straddling Andrew's lap, their arms thrown around each other. Steven knew he wasn't as small as he felt and worried for a second he was smothering Andrew, but then Andrew's hands were on his back, pulling him against his chest and he heard Andrew sigh, sigh so hard Steven felt it in his chest and knew he was okay.

It was perfect...Steven had wrapped his around Andrew's back and laid is head against Andrew's shoulder. He closed his eyes, the scent of Andrews's cologne in his nose and the heat of his skin against his face. Andrew's hands were rubbing his back, and Stevens's limbs seemed to be getting very heavy and useless. He felt so, so small...but so safe and secure in Andrew's arms. Andrew was moving back and forth slightly as he held Steven, like he was rocking him. One of Andrew's arms kept wrapped around his back while the other one moved further down to Steven's diaper clad butt, patting gently like when you are trying to rock a baby to sleep. Steven could feel his face slightly warm at the sound of Andrew's hand patting against the floof of his diaper, knowing it was impossible to not know what it was. But it didn't last long; Steven was reassured by the fact that Andrew didn't seem at all put off by his diaper, or by association, his babyishness.

Steven was an affectionate person and it wasn't necessarily unheard of for him and Andrew to hug. But this…..this….was something different. Something more. Steven had long had the sense that something was missing, that he was empty in a way; but now that feeling was going away. Because Andrew was seeing him in a way no one else ever had and he not only accepted him but was obviously enjoying this part of him. For the longest time Steven had had almost a desperation to feel small and safe and now he was feeling that…..completely…totally…Andrew was holding him and patting his diapered butt and rocking him and he literally felt like he was on a cloud. Andrew smelled good and he was warm and soft and Steven was quickly losing the ability to really think…..he was starting to feel like a newly born infant that simply existed in feelings and sensations.

It was getting hard to move or even speak; Steven was feeling pleasantly helpless. He sensed that soon he might not be able to say anything at all so, curled up warm and secure against Andrew, Steven admitted, "I feel…..so….little….daddy…"

This time it felt different…more RIGHT. Calling Andrew daddy the first time seemed slightly forced, unnatural…..this time it felt right. Maybe because his voice sounded smaller, quieter and more childish than normal. When he said it, Andrew squeezed him tightly in a hug.

"Would you like to have a bottle now, baby?" Andrew whispered. He was rubbing Steven's back, and his voice was so gentle and reassuring. He could feel Andrew's smile at Steven calling him daddy.

Steven couldn't say anything so he nodded, smiling; he was happy and satisfied at the thought of Andrew giving him a bottle.

Andrew gave him one last squeezing hug before releasing him; in one sweeping movement Andrew had moved him out of his lap on to the bed. Steven was about to be pouting and sad at Andrew throwing him onto the bed before he realized what he was doing. The blanket Steven had used to hide under Andrew was spreading out flat on the bed next to him. Steven had exactly zero seconds to wonder what to do; and then Andrew had spread the blanket on the bed and was shifting Steven so that he was in the middle of the blanket. Steven still felt heavy and floppy and very spaced out; there was Andrew's hands on his hips shifting him into the middle of blanket; Steven was aware vaguely that Andrew's hands on his hips made him feel like he had to pee but his bladder couldn't let go. It made him all tingly.

"Let's wrap you up so I can give you your bottle" Andrew said gently.

Steven's head tipped back into the pillow; he was fully aware of EVERY sensation in a way he wasn't used to. It seemed as if everything that he was feeling was amplified, turned up; sensations he normally would have not noticed were very noticeable. The cushiony feel of his head against the pillow, the softness of his pajamas rustling against his skin, the heaviness of his limbs. Steven was having that feeling of floating again, happy and completely at ease.

And then Andrew was wrapping him up in the blanket in a way that made him feel even more floaty. Andrew grabbed his arms, laying them against his chest before wrapping the blanket tightly around him. He wrapped and he tucked and Steven was aware how warm and tight it felt but not how he did it; right now he was completely helpless, something to be manipulated and moved by Andrew. Helplessness was a sensation that he daily fought to resist and secretly deep down wanted; he was helpless now but that was okay because Andrew was taking such good care of him.

When Andrew was finished, Steven was so tightly wrapped up he couldn't move even if he wanted to which of course he didn't. The restriction should have made him uncomfortable but it didn't; it was the opposite. His head felt pleasantly fuzzy and so little; no wonder babies liked being swaddled. He felt safe, warm, protected…he'd grown small enough to the point that speaking felt nearly impossible; all he could do was grin at Andrew.

Andrew sat on the edge of the bed close to Steven's head; then there were hands on him, gently pulling him closer to Andrew. Steven was lying halfway across Andrew's lap, his head supported by one of Andrew's arms. His face was close to Andrew's chest; he could feel his body heat against his skin.

Andrew used his free hand to reach over the nightstand and grab the bottle. That's when it really hit Steven; this is really happening. Something he'd only ever dreamed about and hoped for was actually happening and he suddenly felt so lucky and happy and loved and EVERYTHING at once that his throat tightened with emotion. He couldn't really say anything but a little whiny noise broke free from him, very babyish. Andrew seemed to understand from that little noise what Steven was feeling.

"My baby is a bit overwhelmed, huh?" Andrew said, grinning at him. Steven managed to nod.

"That's okay…..you don't have to do anything but let daddy take care of you" Andrew said.

A shiver ran through Steven at those words but it wasn't because he was cold; he felt like he'd been waiting forever to hear those words. That for once, he didn't have to do anything, be responsible or in control….he could let someone else take care of him.

Andrew gently put the bottle nipple to Steven's lips; it was almost a reflex how easy and fast Steven's mouth closed around it and began to suck. The milk was perfectly warm as it moved over his tongue; it felt almost intoxicating. Steven was so at peace…

He was feeling sleepy and his eyes were heavy but he made himself keep his eyes open. Because Andrew was looking into his eyes as he fed him and in some ways it felt very intimate. It felt like Andrew was really seeing him, seeing him completely. And he wasn't running away; in fact he was getting closer to him. Steven let himself completely reveal in it all; his face pressed against Andrew's chest, feeling his heat and thinking he smelled good, the constriction of the blanket around him, the warmth and comfort of the milk…it was all so good…

Steven's belly felt warm and full by the time he reached the end of the bottle; it didn't stop him from sucking on air for a few moments, hoping there was more in there. Andrew gently pulled the bottle away and Steven felt a bit sad to see it go. But he didn't have long to think about it because as soon as the bottle disappeared, Andrew was putting his new pacifier into his mouth. He didn't even have to think about it; his mouth just reflexively began to suck.

And it was perfect…the pacifier was tucked into his mouth and his eyes were heavy. He felt Andrew's hand on his cheek, fingers rubbing gently and comforting; when Steven opened his eyes Andrew was looking down at him in a way that he didn't think anyone else ever quite had. There was a closeness and affection in Andrew's eyes that was so strong it almost overwhelmed Steven. He looked at Steven as if he was perfect, as if he loved him completely unconditionally. It was a look that said that nothing he could do would make Andrew care about him less; that he accepted every part of him. Steven could feel that between them they both knew that they were sharing something together that they wouldn't share with anyone else. And it was absolutely perfect…..

Steven fought so hard to stay awake and keep his eyes trained on Andrew's look of adoration. But the milk was too warm in his belly and Andrew's fingers rubbing his cheek was too calming. Even his bladder, which up until this point was too nervous finally let go; and wetting his diaper while swaddled and rocked by Andrew was a level of babyish he'd not dared to imagine.

Full and warm and satisfied, Steven drifted off to sleep.

Steven didn't sleep that long but he felt as rested as if he had slept the whole night. He was overly warm though as soon as he woke up he realized that his arms had come lose from the swaddle, splayed out across the bed.

He opened his eyes to see late afternoon sunshine spilling in through the window and though he was aware of his littleness; the puffiness of diaper, the fleece on his skin and the pacifier in his mouth, he didn't feel quite as little as before. And now that he was out of that babyish fog his mind naturally went to where it always went; worry.

It took no time to locate Andrew. He was lying next to Steven, asleep. He looked so peaceful; his face relaxed and slack in a way that it wasn't when he was awake, the sunlight bringing out shades in his hair Steven had never seen. He was curled up on his side in an almost fetal like position and Steven worked hard to not wake him as he rolled over to look at him.

Steven didn't know why he was worrying; he didn't know why he felt that little pit of concern in his stomach. He could tell he and Andrew had shared something special; he knew he didn't just imagine it. But now that he was feeling more adult and cautious, he began to worry. Worry that he had let Andrew see too much of him…that the moment was too intimate and might scare Andrew off.

Steven was worrying himself into a good case of heartburn when Andrew began to stir, slowly and lazily stretching before his eyes opened. Steven felt like he was holding his breath; he was afraid of seeing disgust or aversion of some kind in Andrew's expression; he was expecting that he would see a blatant need to get away from Andrew. But at first, he was glad to see none of that. Andrew's eyes fluttered as if he was having a hard time keeping them open but when he saw Steven looking at him, he grinned.

"Hey" Andrew said in a deep, sleepy voice that made Steven feel warm inside.

"Hey" Steven said; his voice was raspy from sleep and he didn't trust himself to say more.

"Did you sleep well?" Andrew asked, rubbing his eyes and looking more awake.

"Yeah…..I slept like a baby" Steven hadn't meant for it sound so much like a pun; actually he hadn't thought about it at all.

But Andrew was laughing at the irony of the pun; Steven decided that Andrew's sleepy laugh was indeed his favorite. The worry inside of him was beginning to cautiously melt away.

"Well, that was rather the point I suppose" Andrew said. He seemed happy, carefree…..at ease. Steven hated that he still felt the need to ask.

"Are you…are we…..okay?" he asked hesitantly. He couldn't help it; he wasn't used to letting people see so much of him. It made him feel vulnerable; and sadly in his experience being vulnerable hadn't always turned out good.

Luckily, Andrew knew him pretty well; perhaps knew him better than he thought he did. He reached over and took Steven's hands in his own, squeezing gently. It wasn't something that they would have normally done. But it felt like it was right in that moment; Steven's anxiety melted away with Andrew's hot hands squeezing his own.

"Of course we are okay" Andrew said genuinely. "I'm really glad you let me see that part of you."

Warmth and affection burst in his chest; this was simply too good. It seemed too good to be part of his life and yet it was. Andrew wasn't uncomfortable or freaked out; he wasn't going to leave him. He was here and he cared about Steven; every part of him.

Steven's heart was exploding with joy as he said, "Me too…..that was absolutely perfect"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I'd like to plan a sequel to this so let me know what you think!


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